By Becki Baxter
God's Brave Women - Becki's Story
The speedometer barely hovered above the 5 mile per hour mark as our van crept up the never ending, pot-holed driveway to our neighbor’s farm house. Every inch we covered brought more anxiety and panic in my chest. “So who’s going to do the talking? Me or you?” I ask my husband. Fear burns in me, but since we’re over half way to our destination, there is no turning back now. Even if we wanted to, the slender driveway wouldn’t allow a turn around. The only direction to go was forward, so forward we went -- slowly. “Why do you have to make a plan? Why don’t we just wing it?” was my husband’s reply. We normally see eye to eye on things, but my insecurity versus his indifference was all the more unnerving. How can I feel so nervous and he is totally fine? I thought to myself. That is, until he admitted he had planned to just stay in the car…
A couple weeks prior to this, we felt God was asking us start an Alpha* group in our home. Since we had just moved to a new place in the country, where homes are few and far between, we felt that God was asking us to invite our neighbors. Knowing that it would be awkward because we hadn’t even met them yet, my stomach turned for two weeks until enough was enough. If it wasn’t happening that particular day, it wasn’t happening at all.
Hardly a picture of your typical missionaries, we bickered our way to the first house to share the ‘Good News’. Yes, it was uncomfortable. I was anxious about their response and the possibility of rejection. However, what spurred me on was a phrase from a message about obedience I had just recently heard:
“Our God is the God of outcomes”
"God had asked us to invite our neighbors. That’s all my job entails: ask! Whatever the outcome may be, that is God’s job."
God had asked us to invite our neighbors. That’s all my job entails: ask! Whatever the outcome may be, that is God’s job. He didn’t say to make sure they all said yes. That would be worth some stress. No, He just told me to ask them. Any additional pressure was only from myself. That simple truth gave me the confidence to do it even though my knees were shaking. And so, we began our Sunday afternoon mission to meet and invite the neighbors to our home.
How often do we dismiss what God is asking us to do because we are afraid? We’ve all been in that place when we are pretty sure He is asking us to do something, but instead, we manage to list a hundred reasons why it’s probably not a good idea or that we must have heard Him wrong.
Why is it so hard to just do what He asks? For me, it was fear! I was afraid of rejection and I think most of us feel similarly. If we dig deeper into that, it can boil down to our lack of trust that God will be faithful.
When we don’t believe God is who He says He is, it can be hard to trust Him. When we understand that God is loving and has our best interest at heart, we can rest in Him. Our confidence isn’t rooted in anything we do for ourselves but in what Jesus has already done for us. He has set us free from anxiety, pressure and stress if we would just trust Him. He doesn’t set us up for failure! He is for us, not against us (Romans 8:31).
"Our confidence isn’t rooted in anything we do for ourselves but in what Jesus has already done for us. He has set us free from anxiety, pressure and stress if we would just trust Him."
Driving up to our neighbor’s house, my confidence was not fully rooted in Jesus. I was putting the pressure on myself that my neighbor had to say “yes”. Which they didn’t. In fact, they weren’t even home! All that stress was for nothing because I cared more about my performance instead of trusting God with the outcome.
But guess what, His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are not like ours. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Believe it or not, He has a much better vantage point, and He is always at work. If we feel like we have failed but have been obedient to Him, you better believe He has something even greater just around the corner. He sure did for us. Only one of our neighbors ended up coming to our house, but God brought ten others who were looking for a place to get re-connected with Him and their faith. That was an outcome we never expected.
Remember what we’re told in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you!"
What is He asking you to do today? Is there something you have been putting aside because of fear? I encourage you to do it afraid! Let your confidence rest in Jesus. He is for you, not against you. His plans are for your good. Take that step of obedience, and watch how God works. I can guarantee you it will be totally different and way better than you could have imagined.
About Becki
Becki is a stay at home mom of four rough-and-tumble boys and married to her studly hubby, Sam. Together they live outside of Toronto, Canada where they have a quiet place in the country with room to let the boys go crazy. She loves to cheerlead others who are doing things outside their comfort zone. Her heart is fully committed to encouraging women to pursue God and live out the full purposes He has for them. You can find more of her devotionals and stories from women from all across the country at beckibaxter.com.
Brave Woman Manifesto
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