By Katherine Newsom
God's Brave Women - Katherine's Story
“Uh oh mama,” my almost two-year-old says as he pokes the leads that are taped on my chest from a 24-hour halter monitor I’m wearing. He then proceeds to play with the cords that fall between the leads to the monitor. It’s much more compact than it used to be a decade ago. I know this routine, and it isn’t anything new. But it’s still inconvenient.
Couple that with throwing up throughout the night before, getting a sporadic thirty minutes of sleep, and then going into the long-awaited appointment, and I’m drained. I can’t do it alone, and I’m grateful to have help from family so I can go to the appointment by myself. The understanding staff give me warm blankets to nap after setting up the monitor. I didn’t feel comfortable driving in my weak state, so I rested for an hour before driving home and picking up a treat for myself on the way back. I was feeling better finally. Naps change everything.
I’ve had 27 years of cardiology appointments behind me, so I should know how it goes by now. But it’s easy to forget and doubt. Truth be told, sometimes we are forgetful creatures. Whether we’ve walked through something similar in the past or we just learned new lessons, days go by and we don’t remember God’s faithfulness. Like the Israelites wandering through the wilderness, we forget the manna God has sent us in the desert – how He sustains us in low times. We doubt what actually happened, what we really learned and how it changes things today.
"The low points of our lives often threaten to drown out the goodness of God, His manna that is always there for the taking. But God’s hand is present in our circumstances – where we’ve been, how He’s delivered us, and where we are going."
The low points of our lives often threaten to drown out the goodness of God, His manna that is always there for the taking. But God’s hand is present in our circumstances – where we’ve been, how He’s delivered us, and where we are going. My halter monitor was a way to monitor if things are still going as they should. They hadn’t in the past, yet by God’s grace, the issue was found and I was fixed. (And right now, no new news is good news!) Today I choose to trust in God’s sovereignty over my health. I do not fear and stress over something that is out of my control, which in turn, causes more issues. It’s just part of my life because of the fallen world we live in. But walking through these trying times with grace makes me brave. And the same goes for you.
Maybe there’s some experience you walked through lately which you would prefer to have done without. Life feels broken and you’ve begun to doubt. Yet, we have a choice in how we respond and react to our situations. We can choose to see Christ close to us in the brokenness. It’s actually where His ministry flourishes… with the broken. We can choose to grasp on to the hem of Jesus’ garment, have hope, and be brave - only by the grace and strength He gives. We can choose to remember the wilderness He has walked us through and proclaim healing, if not physically, then spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Jesus meets us there and walks us out into the living waters of true freedom.
"We can choose to remember the wilderness He has walked us through and proclaim healing, if not physically, then spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Jesus meets us there and walks us out into the living waters of true freedom."
Our pasts give us a helpful guide in walking forward, in learning how to be brave in our current situation and everything to come. It’s important to learn from the manna, to continue to partake in our daily sustenance. It’s also equally important to look forward, rather than wallow in self-pity like the Israelites who wished they were still in bondage – because at least they knew what would happen. But bondage destroyed them. The daily manna wasn’t lasting, it was day-by-day. Life in the desert was stagnant. It’s imperative to look forward to healing and growth, while remembering our past in the desert.
The baby that poked my leads on my chest was born when he decided to come, completely on his own in the car. Just a few years earlier, I was told by a high-risk OB that I’d never be able to have a baby out of a perinatologist unit because of my heart history. Today, he is a thriving almost two-year-old. I chose to thrive and pray through his pregnancy, not letting a label by someone who is not God tell me what I’m capable of. Even with less than ideal circumstances (which honestly, I felt incredibly powerful giving birth in a car!), God’s hand was felt through it all.
Life does go on, and it may look different than we expect, but that doesn’t mean it’s less worthy or that God isn’t there. No matter what you are facing – a routine monitor, a broken situation, a sleepless night, a daily annoyance, or a tragic word – we can choose to be brave and trust God in it. Because He is there. Jesus meets us in the wilderness and mess, gives us manna and strength, and makes us brave enough to walk through it… only with Him.
Brave Woman Manifesto
Make sure to check back next week as another courageous Sister shares her story!
And by the way...
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About Katherine
Katherine Newsom is a mama and doula who lives in the gulf coast of Texas. You can find her at www.simplenaturalmama.com – where she writes for the Christian mom who likes things simple and natural. She would love to connect more on Facebook and Instagram.